I tend to ponder about things that not many others do: why are white van men so angry? What is the point of GMTV? And, most importantly, why does asking for a polythene shopping bag make me evil?
I'm a humanitarian at heart, give me an energy efficient way to do something and I'm there. Getting hot and bothered about possible emissions, especially when all I want to do is put the said shopping in my car and drive off home to eat it cold while I read a book. I could understand if I had become notorious in the area for grabbing fistfuls of plastic bags, taking them to a field with a handy tyre-fire already blazing away, and setting alight to them, pausing only to hurl car batteries on the inferno. Its quite simply nuts.
Tescos have had my custom for a few years now, mainly through convenience (but then, what else would you use a convenience shop for?) They are also the main culprits for making a person asking for a shopping bag feel like a pariah.
Woman: Would you like a bag?
Me: Yes please.
Woman: (scowls) Do you not have any of your own?
Me: (Looks around, puzzled) Well, no. I presumed that your offer of a bag might morph seamlessly into me obtaining one.
Woman: Well here you go. (Hands me one, crumpled up.)

Of course, wrapping it round her head would be considered assault. I merely informed her that I intended to pay for my shopping in its entirety by way of my book of vouchers...